Back in June I shared with you all what my mothers current state of health was. I told you guys about her Cirrhosis. Since then she’s been in and out of the hospital several times. As I type this I’m thinking we might have to make another trip to the ER tomorrow if she doesn’t get any better. This morning she woke up mentally confused. This is about the 3rd time since the beginning of August. Overall,it’s happened a lot more. I’ve lost count. Not only does my mom have Cirrhosis but she has Hepatic Encephalopathy (HE) as well. HE occurs when the liver is damaged and cannot remove toxic chemicals, such as ammonia, from the blood. These chemicals then enter the brain, affecting both the mental and physical condition of cirrhotic patients.
Today while doing some more research on Hepatic Encephalopathy I stumbled upon this video on YouTube:
The trailer alone made me cry my eyes out. The video captured what my mom is going through and how I’m feeling to a t! The video also has me a bit worried now because one of the patients in the video did in fact receive a liver transplant and she is still dealing with Hepatic Encephalopathy. I can’t imagine my mom having to deal with HE forever. I feel so bad for her because she’s so depressed. She’s been out of it all day. I gave her extra lactulose to hopefully flush out the ammonia building up. I’m constantly going to the bedroom to check on her and make sure she’s ok. Last time she had an episode it left her in a coma like state. It scared me so much. She keeps rambling extremely random things. She looks so lost. When I look into her eyes I wonder where my happy,talkative, mom who loves to tell jokes is.
Since my last post about my mother back in June,my mom was actually called for a liver transplant. She didn’t end up getting it though. Why? Because they called her and not me. They called her twice at 11:30pm one night. She didn’t answer. I’m always up til at least 1am writing and working on stuff. Why did they call HER and not ME!!!?? (Sidenote: I just had to run to her room because she yelled for me. I changed her diaper. Funny how the roles reversed…) I was furious at my mom for not answering the phone. And I was furious at the hospital for NOT calling ME! The hospital calls me for just about everything, and the most important call of all,they don’t call me. I cried my f*cking brains out that day. My mom cried a lot as well. She could of been getting her new liver. She could of been recovering from her operation right now. Instead of this post on Hepatic Encephalopathy,perhaps I’d be writing about my moms journey to recovery from her liver transplant.
But you know what? I can’t dwell on the situation. I have to admit,I was livid for a while. Obviously,the person dealing with the illness is suffering the most,but you know what,it’s hard being the caretaker. But maybe,just maybe,that liver wasn’t meant for her. My mom has a higher MELD score now so her chances of getting a liver transplant are much better. I keep her phone near me at night or when she’s having a mental episode. That way we never miss that call again.I just pray that if she does receive a liver transplant that the Hepatic Encephalopathy will go away as well.
Please send good vibes,if you’re religious pray for her…anything…
For more info on the video about Hepatic Encephalopathy above check out: Wrestling The Monster